Today, I was insulted by a piece of parchment. FML.
—Professor Snape
Today, we tried to shut Percy in a pyramid. Mum caught us. FML.
—Fred and George
Today, the Prisoner of Azkaban movie still does not explain the Marauder’s Map subplot. FML.
—Harry Potter fans
Today, Voldemort hugged me. In front of everyone. FML.
—Draco Malfoy
Today, I found out that I’ve actually been taking secret potions advice from Snape. FML.
—Harry Potter
Today, the annoying know-it-all on the train was put in the same House as me. FML.
—Ron Weasley
Today, I was resurrected. My nose wasn’t. FML.
—Voldemort
Today, Professor Dumbledore chose a werewolf for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job instead of me. FML.
—Professor Snape
Today, The Casual Vacancy is still not Harry Potter: The Adult Years. FML.
—Harry Potter Fans
Today, I summoned Voldemort because we had Harry Potter. Then he escaped. FML.
—Bellatrix Lestrange
